I had to totally go to that frame of mind yesterday and just give every ounce of myself to God, let Him hold me... I was as close as I have ever been to 'my deepest despair'... I don't think I even believed He could or would bring me through it, I had no where else to turn! I fell asleep last night doubting I could endure, I remember just trying relax in His arms and breathe, I had no words for prayer.
I awoke this morning feeling a little hopeful and as the day progressed I have increasingly felt stronger. I get rid of the chemo pump tomorrow. Lyndee is here and Deb and Mom and Paul have been the best prayer warriors and care givers. I realize this is just the beginning of a long battle and more struggles will come, but I made it through this one and I know where to turn when even the words are gone.
"If God brings you to it,
He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God."
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